After disembarking from the Jungle Cruise, because lord knows that’s your first stop in Adventureland, most people would tell you it’s probably worth your while to give the Indiana Jones Adventure a go. It’s something of a hidden gem. When the attraction opened in 1995, I was a 7 year old braving the E-ticket rides, with eyes squinted boldly shut and a rigor mortis-esc posture. Had I relaxed slightly and perhaps exercised my ability to breathe oxygen during the 4 and a half minute journey through the Temple of the Forbidden Eye, I would have been able to tell my dad that he was wrong in claiming that the ride most closely mirrored the first film in the original trilogy. Was he really so blinded by a three second sound bite about hating snakes and one rolling rock that he failed to notice the Temple of Doom crumbling around him for the entire journey? Maybe looking into Mara’s eyes did something too him. Luckily, I didn’t ride with my eyes open for two more years, during which time I built up an immunity to the angry god’s optical flash powder.
Yes, the ride in Anaheim tells an original story with a big bang of a finish that parallels the opening of Raiders of the Lost Ark, but it feels primarily like you are joining Dr. Jones on his trip to the ancient temple. Mainly, because it’s a trip to an ancient temple. Though most people swore by Last Crusade, as a kid, I preferred Temple of Doom. It allowed me to connect with Indian culture. Sure, they eat monkey brains, and when they have to travel long distance, they take elephants instead of cars. But did you know that just like American women are terrible drivers, women in India can’t ride an elephant worth their salt? Look how much our cultures have in common!
The overarching message of the ride, thus, is quite similar to that of the second Indy flick. If you mess with idol worshipping savages, you’ll encounter a world of dark spirits and a powerful magic that would rip you limb from limb if it weren’t for your sarcastic wit, rugged good looks, and the help of the dumb blonde and hilarious Chinese kid in the row behind you.
No comments:
Post a Comment